Conversation with Pomnyun Sunim

I was puzzled,

so I went to an expert. I belong to a meditation group within Jungto Society. We watch Ven. Pomnyun Sunim’s dharma talks every Sunday, meditate + discuss. Sunim does “Casual Conversations” periodically to answer any questions anyone may have. The questions don’t have to be about meditation. To my surprise, my question was approved and I was scheduled to ask it directly to Sunim live on YouTube, from Connecticut to Korea! Here is my question:

In one dharma talk, you mentioned that life is meaningless, that we don't need to imbue our lives with purpose. This was eye opening to me - it freed me from searching; it allows me to be content. But if we don't have purpose in our lives, what reason do we have to be compassionate and help others?

Sunim’s response:

First, Sunim clarified his description of life being meaningless. He said that our lives are no different than a rabbit’s or a squirrel’s. We get caught up in our purpose + meaning of our lives, but there is no meaning. If you wanted to do something with your life + you never achieved it, that doesn’t mean you’re a failure. The point is to be happy. So if you like to do something, you can do it. If it causes you suffering, you don’t have to do it. You don’t have to tie meaning to it.

Then he went on to explain that compassion is sustainable, while lack of compassion is not. If I rob someone, then I hurt that person and myself. If I serve someone at my own sacrifice, then I help them be happier but I hurt myself. If I help someone without sacrificing myself, then I help that person + myself. This is sustainable. It’s the only sustainable choice.

My thoughts since hearing this:

As usual, Sunim’s response is profoundly simple. But right on. When I think about it, how else could I act in this world, in a manner that sustains my own happiness? We feel good when we help others. Often it seems like there’s no other choice but to help someone, but I think we’ve all seen instances where people don’t help, because they feel uncomfortable or they’re in a hurry or they perceive their needs to be bigger than someone else’s. I’ve been guilty of not helping. Those instances haunt me. But I must move on. I’m not doing any good thinking of times I didn’t help people. I must become aware of these instances in real time. What that boils down to, for me, is being present. Taking a breath. It’s when I’m in a hurry or stuck in anxiety-phase that I turn my eyes away. But I believe our souls depend upon being helpful in these instances. As Thupten Jinpa writes in his book A Fearless Heart, compassion is like learning a language, rather than like eye color. The ability to cultivate compassion is an innate trait, but it doesn’t exist without cultivation. I find my compassion muscles working when I slow down, stand still for a second, + breathe. Then compassion comes naturally. Like yoga, it’s a practice - always a work in progress, always a journey. If I stay in this lane of awareness + compassion, then I feel fulfilled, satisfied, content - in short, sustained.